We found love in a hopeless place

I wrote this back in 2007 after I had run into an ex boyfriend from many years ago.  I have no idea why I never finished it, maybe because the ending was too painful to talk about.  How I loved this man, and how he healed my heart after the recent death of my father, but I knew it wasn't right.  Between me and my self sabotaging ways and my emotional state at the time, and his fight from trying to stay away from a corrupt past life our relationship was a ticking time bomb.  But for a brief time we did find love in a hopeless place. I'm glad I can laugh at how silly I can get around men I like.  LOL

I remember the first time we met, it was over a decade ago.  It was a cold winter night in January.  I had stopped by (at the time I didn't know it) a mutaul friends before going out that evening (a Saturday night now I recall.)  The ironic thing was that I came by to ask our friend for some advice on a guy I was dating.  I walked into the house, and I saw you standing in the kitchen.  You gave me the most amazing smile.  D (our friend that I will keep anonymous) introduced us, and you said "I would shake your hand, but my hands are wet."  D and I went to the backyard to discuss this guy I was dating.  The funny thing was that I suddenly didn't want to talk about the dork I was seeing.  All I could picture still is you smiling at me in the kitchen.  You walked outside and said something to D.  I have no idea what words were spoken between the two of you.  I fell into a trance when you stood in front of me once again.  Suddenly D said "hey R you and Bryn are both single, why don't you get aqainted?"
I was so embarresd.  Even though it was dark out, I could see your face turning red like mine.  And so D went back into the house.  You came and sat beside me on the bench swing.  I had no idea what to say to you, and I think you felt the same way.  I recall us both staring at eachother for a moment.  I was totally smitten with you and tongue tied.  Finally you spoke and broke the ice.  We had the silliest conversation.  You asked me to go out that very night, but I had already promised to take my younger brother and his friend to dumpy club metro (does that place even exist anymore?)  Everything after that is a blur.  The only thing that sticks in my mind is that I gave you my phone number.
When I went back home I asked my brother what he thought of you since you both worked at the same place.  He didn't really know you that well, but he said you were nice enough, a hard worker, and kind of shy.  When you are only 21 and very vulerable you don't worry about the long term characteristics of a person.  
A few days passed.  I came home from work that following Monday night, and my mother advised me that you had called 3 times.  Silly me, I had to be immature and play that hard to get thing and not call you back.  The next day while on my lunch break I walked over the drug store for some sort of girly thing I guess.  Probably make up or hairspray. (he-he). I enter the store, and there you were.  When you saw me you obliged me with that radiant smile of yours.  You make your way over to me.  I tell you that I am sorry I didn't get a chance to call you back (duh).  You inform me that were not sure which establishment I was employed at, but you remember me telling you I worked in this shopping center.  And next you brief me on the fact that you went into some of the restaraunts in the center and asked for me.  I was very flattered.  More small talk passes between us, and I make sure you know the right place to look for me next time.  We agree to go out on a date the following night.  I remember when we parted I was so excited and nervous that I thought I was going to puke in the drug store. 
The next day I decide to look through the paper (back in the old days when there was no internet) and find a movie for us to see.  I find that "Leaving Las Vegas" is playing.  I had heard from the previews on TV that is was a love story.  I figured it was the perfect date movie.
I hurry home from work that night, and you called.  I tell you about the movie, and you agree with me on my choice.  However, your car is not running and you asked me to pick you up.  I was a little leery at that point, but hell everyone has car trouble.  You give me directions to your house.  I hang up the phone, and then proceed in trying to find the right thing to wear.  I think I went through about 5 outfits.  The crazy girl thoughts were racing through my head "if I wear something low cut he will think I am suggesting I am easy ,  if I wear something too conservative he will feel I am a prude."  
I finally decide on on just jeans and a turtle neck (they were still in still back then).  I try to fix the damage I have done to my hair after changing over and over.  I brush my teeth for almost 5 minutes straight (didn't want to have bad breathe).  I spray purfume on my neck then freak out because I worry you will feel I am trying to hard.  I pull a wad of toilet paper from the roll, and try to wipe off my neck.  I finally get ahold of myself and begin the journey to your home.
I pick you up, and you get into my car (my 1993 Geo Storm).  I start to drive away. I am so nervous of saying something silly, or making a poor driving choice. Maybe you sensed my vulnerability, and insecurity and start a conversation.