I wrote this blog back in 2007 as I was inspired by a girly conversation with my gal pals about great kisses.
My grandmother took me to the Caribbean the summer before my senior year of high school. Even though she drove me slap crazy most of the time I was so excited I couldn't see straight. Like any teenage gal I was especially eager to scope out the boy scene.
The first night of the cruise was pure magic! I remember stepping onto the top deck into the humid night. A steel drum band was playing, and the stars seemed so close I thought I could reach up and touch them. I felt like a kid in a candy store. Tons of cute boys everywhere, and the cruise staff seemed to have no trouble serving alcohol to a minor. A dream come true for a rebellious child forced into the Mormon church since birth. Jackpot!!!!! I downed one blue Hawaiian after another. Soon I was approached by a boy with another blue Hawaiian. Apparently he had asked the bar tender what I was drinking. I was flattered, but saw right through him. Not the type of boy I was used to. He was for sure not from California, and had "my daddy pulled some strings to get me into an ivy league college" written all over him.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw a boy dancing in front of the band. He looked to be about my age, drop dead hot, and very intoxicated. I was totally smitten. To make matters worse I was informed by the ivy league snob that the dude I was watching was his little brother. I think he could see the wheels turning in my head. It ended up working out because ivy league did not realize how young I was. His little brother made his way over and sat down at the table next to us. With my liquid courage I approached him. As corny as this sounds I felt my entire body melt when he looked into my eyes and introduced himself. We came from very different backgrounds. He was from New Jersey, and from a wealthy cultured family. I was from a middle class dysfunctional west coast family. I felt so insecure at that moment because I knew my upbringing which I was not ashamed of was so beneath his. I decided to just ask him questions about himself, and talk about myself as little as possible to avoid messing up my chance of spending time with him. Yes, I know my actions were very shallow, but I was a very insecure teenager. I suppose that is my only excuse. We talked until the late hours of the night with the warm breeze blowing, the calming sound of the ocean, and one of the most intense attractions I had ever felt. He walked me back to my cabin that night and was such a gentlemen. He shook my hand, and told me it was good to meet me. I remember just smiling at him with my mouth full of metal (braces). When a man holds back on kissing you it always becomes much more of a turn on. The anticipation is torture, but so worth it.
I remember floating back into the cabin feeling giddy, and nauseous. As strange as this sounds it was a good sick feeling. I was so overwhelmed with a massive school girl crush it made me woozy. I fell asleep that night to the gentle rocking of the ship, the faint sounds of the ocean, and his name on my lips.
The morning I awoke to a Caribbean ocean sunrise, and an announcement for a ship fire drill. My grandmother and I made our way onto our designated area. I saw him from a distance. Almost as if he felt me staring at him he turned around and gave me the most amazing smile. My whole body went numb. At that very moment it seemed as if we where the only people in that area. My grandmother nudged me to keep moving along.
The rest of the day was amazing. It was our first day at sea. At my young age I had no idea such a wonderful atmosphere existed. My grandmother and I made our way to the deck after breakfast. The alcohol and music were flowing again. And then he suddenly appeared. Both of us were so shy we could barely speak to one another, but there was just some sort of comfortable silence between us. Finally we managed to get a conversation going about the band him and his friends had started. He could have spoken about the wall paper in his bedroom at home, I would have still been engrossed.
Later that night was the captains dinner, and a silly show. I was just itching for it to get later so I could spend time with him. My grandmother and I went to the casino, he was there as well. Every time I would turn away from my slot machine he would smile at me from the poker table him and his brother occupied. Finally my grandmother decided it was time for her to hit the hay. As soon as I walked her back to the cabin I fled back up the casino area. I found him right away picking up a courtesy phone. I made my presence known. He immediately advised me that he was just about to call our cabin.
He took my hand and we walked up a very secluded part of the ships top deck. It was such a beautiful night. The surroundings couldn't have been anymore perfect. We sat down and made some silly small talk. All of a sudden we just looked at each other. He took his hands and put them gently on the sides of my head and pushed my wind blown hair behind my shoulders. We moved towards each other and locked lips. Every part of my body was on fire. I could have sworn all time had stopped. After 16 years I have yet to have ever been kissed this way. Of course I have experienced many great kisses, but the circumstances were just not the same.
At 17 we are so hopeful, naive, and innocent. We were 2 strangers that encountered each other. Somehowwe knew that we were both about to say goodbye to childhood, and soon experience the real world. Back then the concept of email and the internet had yet to be invented. We knew we were most likely never to see one another again, but we made the most of that week. I now realize that I left a part of me with him. The very last part of my way to view the world as a child.
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